Criticizing Others

How often have you heard someone criticize or tear down another? It isn’t pretty is it? Especially when it is a friend or loved one. The psychologist in us says that insecure people do this in order to pump themselves up, to make them feel better about themselves. Okay, so there is a reason, but it is pretty lame isn’t it? Cutting someone down or criticizing them to others is not an attractive quality to say the least. It certainly isn’t Christ-like is it? It is not something a person would do if Jesus were standing next to them is it? But you know what? Jesus is standing next to us all the time. He listens and watches everything we say and do. We want to be proud of how we act and how we treat people. Christ loves us unconditionally, but we want him to be proud of our efforts too. We’ve often heard it said, “you can’t change people, you can only change how you react to them.” I’m certainly not the one to ask for a pithy comment. I’m the one who usually stands there with my mouth ajar wondering how someone could be so unkind to another. I may think of something I should/could have said hours later, or the next day – most likely never.

Many of us were raised to ignore unkind/rude remarks. We must be polite no matter what. But what would be wrong if we simply said, “that really hurt my feelings” and just walked away. Do this even if other people were present. We certainly would not look bad, just honest, the only person who come off looking bad is the one criticizing or making the unkind comment.

On the other hand, do we do this? If we do, we can change our behavior. If Christ did not come into this world to condemn, but to save, then why do we condemn others? If we are insecure and/or suffer from low self esteem, the best way to feel better about ourselves and to raise others’ opinion of us is simply to be kind. It’s just that simple. Who doesn’t like a kind person?? We don’t have to be clever, intelligent, or funny, just KIND. If we do kind things for others and say kind, encouraging things to others – who wouldn’t like us? What a way to make Christ feel proud of us. It sure makes us proud of ourselves, and raises our self esteem. We must continually remind ourselves that it is not our place to judge others. That task belongs to God. When we criticize someone we are pronouncing judgment on them. Isn’t that what Christ called us to do?  

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 NIV

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."

John 3:16-21

“Many people don’t want their lives exposed to God’s light because they are afraid of what will be revealed. They don’t want to be changed. Don’t be surprised when these same people are threatened by your desire to obey God and do what is right because they are afraid that the light in you may expose some of the darkness in their lives. Rather than giving in to discouragement, keep praying that they will come to see how much better it is to live in the light than in darkness.”

NIV Life Application Study Bible