I never really considered myself a gossip. Did I talk about people? Well, yes sometimes, but I wasn't vicious about it. My Mom had talked to me quite a bit about the difference between talking about someone and malicious gossip. I bounced carelessly through life thinking I was doing pretty well on that score until a couple new coworkers came into my life. I'd never met anyone who gossiped the way these women did. It wasn't just occasionally either, it was incessant. They both professed to be Christian, attended church regularly, but the things they repeated about others... wow, just wow. I said something to one of them once and she replied, "well I never tell anything that isn't true."
Well that makes it quite alright doesn't it? When something very unfortunate happened to another coworker, something that I'm sure was very embarrassing, I can't imagine that she wanted it shared with everyone. Because, think about it, even if she told one person, by the time it was retold even 4 or 5 times the story would not be the same would it? Remember the old telephone/gossip game we played in elementary school? The person at the end NEVER had the same phrase that was told in the beginning. People are human, infallible creatures and we add, subtract and embellish anything we tell to another. We don't even realize it, it is human nature. This is why eyewitness testimonies vary so much from one person to another. Two people can see the same car accident and give entirely different reports to a police officer. Even something as simple as the color of the car in a hit and run can be seen differently by people. Retelling events is done with our life experience and one is never exactly the same as another.
After working with these two women for a while I began to look at myself and see something I did not like at all. So I decided to make a conscious effort to refrain from gossip. It took a while and I worked hard at it. Am I perfect? Of course not, but I continue to try hard and remember to stop and
think a moment before repeating something about another person. “Before you
speak ask yourself if what you are going to say is true, is kind, is
necessary, is helpful. If the answer is no, maybe what you are about to
say should be left unsaid.” ―Bernard Meltzer
Another way to think about it is,
would I say this if Jesus were standing next to me? What does Scripture say about gossip? There is that commandment about bearing false witness, but there's more:
Ex 23:1
“Do not spread false reports. Do not help a wicked man by
being a malicious witness.”
Prv 25:18
“Like a club or a sword or a sharp arrow is the man who
gives false testimony against his neighbor.”
2 Thes 3:11-12
“We hear that some among you are idle. They are not busy;
they are busybodies. Such people command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to
settle down and earn the bread they eat.”
Ps 57:4
“I am in the midst of lions; I lie among ravenous beasts-
men whose teeth are spears and arrows, whose tongues are sharp swords.”
